I have already read about them on other blogs beforehand. About those wedding party guests who ask strange questions about your wedding and make unreasonable demands. Those people, who seem like they want to drive you crazy. Those who look like they really put in a lot of effort to turn you into a ‘bridezilla’ even though you already worked so hard so far not to be one.

Up until now I have cried many times already, as I did not want to have a wedding party in the first place. I really try to make the whole planning period as stressless as possible for me, but still, people make a stab at (unintentionally) driving me nuts.

Front page of our wedding invitation, drawn for us by my maid of honor.
Front page of our wedding invitation, drawn for us by my maid of honor.

Here is a short summary of the many comments I got the last three months since we announced our engagement and wedding plans. As to protect the people’s identities I will leave out their names – but you will probably be able to guess from whom some of them are anyway.

“Are you getting married because you are pregnant?”
Because we cannot get married just out of love?
No.

“Should I buy you an expensive necklace as a wedding present so you can show off at your big day?”
For me, who is too stingy to buy brand name clothing and recycles everything as often as possible? For me, who is too paranoid to get anything expensive which could be stolen by someone?
No.

“Can we panda-nap your future husband for a bachelor night-weekend in (insert any random European city)?”
Have you never seen Hangover, Hangover II or Hangover III?
No.

“Why did you not tell me about your wedding? How do you think will I feel and react when I get your invitation?”
Maybe we did not tell you because you are a strange person who only gossips about other people behind their backs and you therefore cannot be trusted at all? And why do you think you will get an invitation in the first place anyway?
No.

“Can I bring my ex-boyfriend?”
Because you do not know so many people at my small wedding, because I only want to invite my closest friends who I want to spend such an important day with?
No.

“How about inviting your aunt’s husband’s son?
The guy who grew up with his mom and I only met for the first time when I was 14? The guy who I only see two times a year when we do not even talk with each other at most?
No.

“Can I invite my eight best friends with their families?”
30 extra people who do not even greet me when they see me outside a Chinese restaurant because I look like any other Austrian girl to them?
No.

“Are you going to invite your 15 year old pubescent cousin’s girlfriend?”
The one whom he French-kissed with the whole time at our grandma’s Christmas party for the last two years?
No.

“Can I bring my girlfriend?”
The one we do not know about and you are only dating for three weeks?
No.

(Well, actually yes. He asked us when we did not know about her and they were only dating for three weeks. I finally met her the day before yesterday and she is an awesome woman. So do not f**k it up, Mr. Panda’s friend!)

And to all those who I left utterly speechless when I told them we will not have a church wedding:
No. No. No. Get your things toghether, we are not living in medieval times anymore.

 

Which strange questions did you get about your wedding? Or are my guests the only ones who randomly invite others?

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Random Questions from our Guests about our Austrian-Hong Kong Wedding

17 thoughts on “Random Questions from our Guests about our Austrian-Hong Kong Wedding

  • April 26, 2016 at 2:00
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    Haha, I love all these comments. A question I was asked quite a few time was “are you marrying her for the visa / passport?” – Yeah sure… grrr…(and a death stare)

    By the way, the front of the card looks really nice 🙂

    Reply
    • April 26, 2016 at 9:20
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      Yeah of course, because you need someone with a convenient citizenship with a Hong Kong/British overseas passport…

      Thank you! If you as the bride do not want to have a wedding party, but the husband wants one.. you can make unreasonable demands. Like an invitation card with cats. 😀

      Reply
      • April 27, 2016 at 13:37
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        Well, it your big day. So you can do what you want. Just enjoy your big day. 🙂

        Reply
  • April 26, 2016 at 7:17
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    Haha, I love these. Some people are just… just something to say the least xD. I love the front card! 😮 It’s stunning!

    Reply
    • April 26, 2016 at 9:29
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      When I get these questions, I sometimes do not know how to decline nicely, and I try to lynch them in my thoughts. I really try to please everyone, but some people make it really hard for me.

      And thanks! The card just screams “Crazy catlady Bettttyyyyyy~~~~” 😀

      Reply
  • April 26, 2016 at 8:14
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    LOL. So good. We had a small wedding and it was very challenging who not to invite. Fortunately, most of my parents relatives and friends were not around. It was around 100 people and we got to have a very intimate wedding with all the people we love. I’ve heard some of my friends had up to 3 weddings at different locations and had to invite half of the people they didn’t know. Poor souls.

    Reply
    • April 26, 2016 at 9:44
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      Ours will be with about 65 people. We tried hard to keep the number low, and it worked out somehow as we also do not have to invite many family members. Most of Mr. Panda’s are in HK, and I only invited those who I spend time with on more days than my grandma’s annual Christmas party. 😛

      I think we’ll need to have at least a little dinner in HK afterwards, and maybe one with MIL’s eight best friends and family here in Vienna. Although I am not too excited to invite people who are not interested in our relationship at all. And do not greet me when we meet at the Asian supermarket 😛

      Reply
      • April 27, 2016 at 19:13
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        Those questions were ridiculous. I feel sorry for you. I am glad that I was not asked those questions when I got married. It is nice that you, apparently, will have the dinner in HK afterwards, and perhaps a dinner in Vienna for your MIL’s friends and family. I am sure that your FIL and MIL would cherish those moments. The time they spend with you and Mr. Panda in those dinners will be in their fond memories forever. Even though I do not know your FIL and MIL, I could guess what they would think as most Chinese in HK would. I fully understand that your wedding should be done only in the way that you and Mr. Panda like. Nevertheless, making the FIL and MIL happy afterwards, if possible, would be like icing on a cake.

        Reply
        • April 27, 2016 at 19:43
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          It’s so hard to please everyone. And I will probably go to have dinner with people who don’t care about me at all. I’ll smile and do like I’M having a goodo time with lots of people I do not understand. 🙁

          Reply
          • April 28, 2016 at 18:34
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            I think you were referring to the dinner in HK with the relatives and friends of your FIL and MIL. I am sorry that you probably will need to put up with some people who do not care about you at the dinner. Perhaps you are speaking from your prior experiences when you were in HK. However, is it possible that those people who appeared not to care about you did actually care about you inside their hearts but they could not convey their feelings because of a language barrier? May be Mr. Panda will know because he could speak their language. This dinner could be different because to them you become Mr. Panda’s wife. Another thing is that the older people in HK are not good in showing their feelings especially toward someone much younger. I am not trying to find excuses for them, but sometimes I try to put myself in the shoes of both sides when it comes to intercultural interactions.

          • April 28, 2016 at 21:09
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            I meant the extra dinner with other Hong Kongers here in Vienna who ignore me when they see me in town. MIL wants to have an extra dinner with them as I told her it’s not possible to invite them to our wedding party due to a lack of seats available.

            As for grumpy old Chinese I am experienced enough. In september I got a photo with grumpy grandpa trying to smile especially for me. 🙂

  • April 27, 2016 at 6:11
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    I just shake my head. I don’t know what to think of such people. A wedding is not a beer party in someone’s apartment. It’s expensive and meaningful, and the bride and groom are the ones who decide who they want to invite. I’m glad I didn’t receive such questions at our wedding. It’s hard to refuse people, even when they make unreasonable requests.

    Reply
    • April 27, 2016 at 11:50
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      I am thinking exactly the same. It is not some random drinking party where everyone who wants to come is welcomed. I also got angry when people forced me to refuse them, make them angry and what not. I am just glad that I didn’t have the “When you invite person XY I won’t come!” drama like my friend’s sister.

      Reply
  • April 28, 2016 at 4:52
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    Laughing as I bang my head on my desk for you.

    I think the worst one I got was from a dancer that we knew — but that was not a close friend: “Am I invited?”

    It was like, “Um, well, of course…” Translation: “yes, I will send you an invitation NOW and pray that the trip will be too far and too expensive for you..” It was neither. He told a friend that my husband hated, too, and then SHE tried to crash the wedding. No good deed goes unpunished.

    You are very smart to say no without guilt. I wish I had been better prepared, but honestly, how can reasonable people be prepared when unreasonable people ask outrageous questions that reasonable people never even think of?

    Reply
    • April 28, 2016 at 11:27
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      I am still waiting for the “Am I invited?”-question. There are a few people we go out with frequently, but they are always invited by others of the group and we never go out alone. So of course we won’t invite them. I try not to talk about the wedding when there are non-invited people around, but last Saturday someone just started to talk about it. And one of these non-invited people started to listen carefully. In my mind I constantly repeated “Please don’t ask me why you didn’t get an invitation!” the rest of the evening lol.
      One of the reasons I picked a small place was so I could give a proper explenation why I couldn’t invite more people. 😀

      Reply
  • April 28, 2016 at 11:59
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    Sometimes weddings bring out the best and worst in people. When I got married, my aunt refused to attend my wedding when she found out I had asked my uncle’s girlfriend to give a toast to my grandparents [her parents]. They were having a disagreement at the time and thought a grandchild should give it. I stuck with my original decision and she missed out on a great time.

    Reply
    • April 28, 2016 at 21:21
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      People suddenly come up with requests you wouldn’t see coming at all.
      It is really sad that people just disinvite themselves for some selfish reasons. Even more if it’s not even their big day at all. 🙁

      Reply

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