He has done it. He has finally done it. Mr. Panda took me out to a fancy birthday dinner in the middle of December, and took me to a Christmas market to drink a cup of mulled wine. And afterwards, as Beyoncé already sang it some years ago, he finally put a ring on me. An expensive one on top. At least he listened to me and got a small, inconspicuous one.
But now as it is time to plan the wedding, it looks like none of my wishes and ideas matter anymore. Everyone, Mr. Panda up front, expects a big wedding reception, expects me to plan it, and it looks like I am the only one who is not really happy about it at all.
“O M F**KING G YOU ARE ENGAGED NOW!!!”
Everybody else, but I never said. Really, why is it such a big deal? Or why is it not a big deal for me at all? Why is everybody so happy about it and I am not? Why did I ever think before that it would be so nice and happy and lovey dovely to be engaged? Since he proposed to me, everybody is expecting a big party.
Although Mr. Panda said he would help me with the preparations, he only always answers “I don’t know!” when I ask him. He is happy with our engagement, he wants a big wedding party, but does not see how much work the planning takes. And he expects me to plan everything, because “you can do everything so well!”
Eloping VS. Big Fat Chinese Wedding in Austria and in Hong Kong
I was never a person who only dreamed of her wedding day since she was a little princess. If it ever came down to marriage I only wanted to celebrate with my best friends and closest family. I even thought about doing it and not telling anyone. But it looks like that both of us eloping and marrying secretly is not an option at all for anybody expect me. Because as far as I got it until now, a wedding is for anyone else. And is only stressful for me. And according to Mr. Panda, we ‘owe’ it to everyone else.
As it looks now, I, who never wanted to have a big wedding reception, ended up with the stress of planning two (!!!) wedding parties, one in Austria and one in Hong Kong. When we told his mother about the engagement, her first question was if we already saved enough money so that we could invite all his Hong Kong relatives to a big feast to celebrate. And of course we should plan it. And with ‘we’, somehow everyone expects me to do it. Why am I the one to end up with the burden of planning two wedding parties, with one being on the other side of the earth in a country which language I do not speak?
Nice vacation VS. wasting all your money on one day
As far as I have compared prices of locations and caterers until now, all of them are freaking expensive. If you add another absurdly expensive dress you’ll only wear once, rings, marriage ceremony, cake… it quickly sums up to thousands of Euros for a one day feast. Please, could someone explain the logic behind such a crackbrained act to a rational and stingy person like I am?
Will I become crazy at some point?
I do not want to waste all my time and money on one day on which I will only be stressed and tired. I certainly will never ever think that the wedding day will be the happiest day of my life. I do not live in a world where I am judged about whether I held a big wedding where everyone fed on my expenses, and even less will I care if people are angry at me because I did not waste my money, sanity and time to prepare a party for them. Up until now I only felt sad and misunderstood. Is it just winter blues and I will feel better when the weather gets better too?
Those people saying that the wedding day is just about the bride probably mean those type of women whose biggest dream is to marry their Prince Charming. Which I am not at all. I need to think of a way to talk myself out of my misery without hurting someone. That said, congrats to myself! And thank you for listening to/reading my complaints. If this goes on, I will probably be urged to change my blog’s name into “Betty had a Panda”. Just joking, I would rather not marry than abandon my cute cuddly Panda bear. 🙂