Sorry for neglecting you the last two weeks. Due to difficulties to fall asleep every night one week straight, I am too exhausted to fully contribute myself to you and my studies. Nonetheless, due to my sleepless nights, I was able to shift my field of research to a more practical one. I used the nocturnal hours I have been sleep driven waiting in bed to conduct a (participant) observation, and took field notes on a panda sleeping next to me in bed along the way. Due to time constraints I will summarize the most important events of the last seven nights.

Place: bedroom, queen-size bed, 2 sets of pillow and sheet.
Involved individuals: Betty (author), lying on the right side; Mr. Panda (observed object), lying on the left side

November 7th, 2015
01:13am:
Mr. Panda lies on his back. He starts snoring. I sigh, I am already used to it.
I call his name to wake him to ask him to roll over. He does not react.
I try to roll him on his side with all my might. I fail, but I am used to that too.
Surprisingly he wakes up, I ask him to roll over. He does so. He instantly starts to snore again.
I cuddle myself next to him, put my arm around him, and hold his nose.
My theory: He will open his mouth, breath through his mouth and stop snoring.
Findings: He does not.
I release his nose.  He breathes in deeply, and starts to snore again.
I surrender.
01:45am: I start another attempt.
I try to call his name to wake him up. He does not.
I slightly slap his face while calling his name to wake him up. He does not.
I shake him while I slightly slap his face while calling his name to wake him up. He finally wakes up for a few seconds of my earthquake-like moves. I tell him to stop snoring. Gladly he does.

November 8th, 2015
01:34am:
Mr. Panda rolls on over on his back and starts to snore.
As he is heavier than me it is impossible for me to roll him over. So I try to wake him so I can ask him to lie on his side.
As proven effective the night before I shake him while slightly slapping him while calling his name.
He wakes up and ask me what is going on. I ask him to lie on his side so he will stop snoring.
He answers ‘yes’ and falls asleep again right away and resumes the snoring.
I start with the whole procedure again. As he wakes up again, I ask him the same thing again.
He answers ‘yes’ again. I tell him ‘No you did not!!!’. He answers ‘Yes I did!’.
He continues to sleep and snore.
Sleep driven and angry I hit him with my pillow until he wakes up and asks ‘Huuuhh?? What is going on???’.
Like a mad dog I scream he must lie on his side right away, or he has to sleep in the living room from now on.
Not understanding what I am so mad about he lies down on his side and falls asleep right away. Gladly without starting to snore again.

November 10th, 2015
12:30am:
Mr. Panda comes to bed and wants me to scratch his back. As he did not ask me the nights before, I scratch him without complaining. He lies diagonally on the bed and over my stomach as I start to scratch him.
He is playing a tower defense game on the IPad.
12:37am: Mr. Panda suddenly falls asleep. And starts to snore.
12:45am: I try to stop him snoring. I hold his nose.
Second theory: He will open his mouth, breathe through his mouth and stop snoring if I just hold his nose long enough.
Findings: He does after I long time, but I feel guilty for choking him off awfully long.
He stops to snore for a few seconds and starts to snore again.
I feel like crying. And like hitting him.
I shake him while slightly slapping him while calling his name to wake him up. As he wakes up I ask him to lie down on his side of the bed. He does.
12:58am: He rolls on his back and starts to snore again. I start to record him so I can prove how awfully loud he is the next morning.
01:01am: After recording him with my smartphone, I am up to stop him from snoring once again.
I put my two of my fingers in his mouth to open it and hold his nose again.
I thought he might then start to breathe through his mouth again and stop snoring. He does not.
I release his nose from my grasp. He resumes to breathe through his nose and starts to snore once again.
I feel devastated.
01:09am: I kick his legs and shake him to make him stop. He does not.
I kick his legs and shake him again to make him stop. He does not.
I kick his legs while shaking him while screaming in anger. He does not react at all and continuous his snoring. He starts to grind his teeth.
I am wiped out.
01:20am: I turn on the light, shake him, slap his face hard and scream ‘YOU =)(%§(/Z%  §(%)§=§($ WAKE UP!!!!!!!!’
Utterly confused he asks what is going on, but is on the merge of falling asleep again.
I do not stop shaking him and calling his name as he finally starts to move over. Gladly before he falls asleep again.
I quickly like down really close to him. I push him over with all my strength. He still moves as slowly as possible.
01:25am: He, finally lying on his side, finally stopped to snore and I was able to fall asleep.

November 12th, 2015
12:50am:
Mr. Panda comes to bed and lies down next to me after I begged him not to lie down onto me again as almost every night.
He starts to play his tower defense game on the IPad, I try to fall asleep. Of course I cannot fall asleep.
01:15am: He puts the IPad on the nightstand, switches off the light and cuddles himself to me. I am still wide awake.
01:20am: I ask him to face away from me so I can lie close to his back because I feel cold.
He falls asleep right away and starts to snore. I cuddle myself close to his back.
As I do not feel sleepy at all I let him snore and do not care.
01:35am: He obviously has a stuffed nose so he cannot breathe through his nose anymore.
I expect him to breathe through his mouth soon again. He does not. I am waiting.
After an awfully long time he gasps for air without waking up.
I feel bad for him and wake him up so he can blow his nose.
He blows his nose and sleeps again without continuing to snore.

November 13th, 2015
12:23am:
Mr. Panda asks me to scratch his back. I tell him I don’t want to.
He tries to sweet-talk me into doing it, and lies down diagonally on the bed and over my stomach.
I whine because of the pressure he puts on my stomach. He changes his position to make me feel as comfortable as possible.
I scratch his back, but he falls asleep after a few minutes while still lying on me. I do not care.
12:31am: He starts to snore. As soon as I want to tape him again, he wakes up, crawls over, and lies down on his back on his side of the bed and falls asleep once again right away.
I wake him up right away to ask him to lie down on his side so he will not start to snore.
He moves on his side, facing the opposite direction from me really slowly, and falls asleep right away again.
I roll myself up next to him so he will not suddenly roll over on his back and start to snore again.
01:28am: He starts to snore although he is lying on his side.
01:31am: He does not stop snoring by himself, so I put my left hand’s index finger in his mouth.
He does not stop to snore, but starts to chew on it. I take it out again and he still continues snoring. I do not care because I do not feel like sleeping anyway.
01:58am: I move away from him and he rolls over on his back. He suddenly stops to snore.
I am finally able to firsthand experience and document a rare case of ‘reverse snoring state’ in the name of science. I am stunned.
02:18am: Mr. Panda snores like there is no tomorrow. I am sure the neighbors can hear him too.
It is impossible for me to sleep. I take half a sleeping pill for the first time. I finally fall asleep a few minutes afterwards.

Further notes:
1. Talk to Mr. Panda about possibilities to stop his snoring. (Nose clip, separated bedrooms, surgery?)
2. Must find a way to fall asleep tonight more easily as soon as possible.
– Methods tried, but did not work so far: sports, alcohol, meditation, abstaining from caffeine-containing drinks
– Methods tried which worked: prescription drugs (Note: are definitely no option)
– Must try as soon as possible: hot milk with honey, special herb tea

bitstrips_snoring
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Please note: Mr. Panda does not get harmed at night (expect for some irregular ninja kicks and Kung Fu elbow punches). He snores due to anatomic reasons (deviated septum) and gladly does not suffer otherwise because of it.

Dear research journal!
Tagged on:                 

15 thoughts on “Dear research journal!

  • November 14, 2015 at 3:41
    Permalink

    You have really made a valiant effort to stop his snoring. The journal was a good idea. I thought breathing through the mouth was a cause of snoring. I hope he doesn’t have sleep apnea.

    Reply
    • November 15, 2015 at 3:08
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      Thank you for your concern. Gladly he doesn’t have sleep apnea (I added an additional note after the picture, so people won’t worry). I have tried so much the last years, and physical violence like punching didn’t have any effect at all. He really has a deep sleep, I envy him so much.

      Reply
  • November 14, 2015 at 12:30
    Permalink

    I know how you feel. Not that my wife is snoring however my mother-in-law…she is snoring so loud that we hear it in our bedroom. Her husband sleeps for many years in another bed as her snoring is just too loud to sleep even with earplugs. That far she has refused to get a checkup to see what can be done against it

    Reply
    • November 15, 2015 at 3:11
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      Oh oh! Mr. Panda did not believe my stories in the beginning so I recorded him and showed them to him. Maybe you can try the same stunt with your mom in law and it will probably open her eyes.

      Reply
      • November 17, 2015 at 16:54
        Permalink

        Oh we did many times and she just laughs it off :p

        Reply
  • November 14, 2015 at 20:51
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    Panda might have sleep apnea so best to see a doctor for that (i.e. sleep clinic). One solution for that is CPAP machine (google it) which helps him breath & sleep properly & no more snoring!

    Reply
    • November 15, 2015 at 3:10
      Permalink

      Thank you for your concern! Glady he snores due to anatomic reasons which do not hinder him in any way (I added an additional note after the picture).
      Best way for a good sleep for me right now are to fall asleep before he does.

      Reply
  • November 15, 2015 at 6:07
    Permalink

    I FEEL YOUR PAIN! (I also feel guilty for laughing at your pain, as I should sympathize.) Sleep deprivation = psychosis. I want my own bedroom. Andy snores. It’s getting worse.

    I could sleep with the dog, only the dog also snores. Even the cat snores. I am thinking of sleeping in the car in the garage. Probably the possum living in there also snores.

    Reply
    • November 16, 2015 at 21:43
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      Mr. Panda always gets mad when I tell him how good I slept all alone over at my parents’.
      And I am silent when I sleep, you won’t even guess I am there – the perfect roommate.
      Why can’t he be just like me? A super ninja sleeper!

      Reply
  • November 16, 2015 at 4:12
    Permalink

    Oh god the snoring. Luckily my boyfriend doesn’t snore a lot, and when he does I can roll him on this side (this is one of the advantages of having a skinny boyfriend, mwahaha) and he stops.
    During a whole year in Beijing I shared a room with a lady that snored like a lion. That was when I started using earplugs to sleep. It worked for me.
    My dad also snores a lot and once that we were both staying in the same room in a hotel I made him buy a spray thingie that you can get in the pharmacy. You can see if it is sold there. He only needs to spray it in this mouth before sleeping and he won’t snore. At least it worked with my father.

    Reply
    • November 16, 2015 at 21:40
      Permalink

      Thanks for the advice, but unfortunately they won’t work because he snores through his nose. 🙁
      I just don’t want to use earplugs while sleeping, they feel so awful.
      I am still searching for the perfect way to make him stop. Flipping him over is impossible. He is doing lots of sports and has lots of muscles, ergo he is also heavy, and tall. And although I am trained, it’s still impossible. When he’s asleep, he’s like a 150 pound bag of rice. 🙁

      Reply
  • November 30, 2015 at 22:00
    Permalink

    Time Machine ↓
    ↓↓↓
    02:37am: Mr. Panda suddenly falls asleep. And starts to snore.
    12:45am: I try to stop him snoring. I hold his nose.

    Reply
    • March 11, 2016 at 22:21
      Permalink

      Yes. The only way to make him stop is forcing him to sleep in the living room. 😀

      Reply

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