In Vienna, maybe also in other parts of Austria, they distribute two free rather gaudy local rags near public transports stations. You can see too many people reading them in the tram or subway every day. In these rags they use sensational headlines which makes you fear the end of the world has finally come, but the article does not have anything in common with the title at all. Well sorry, I am tired and could not think of a better headline right now.

But let me start with my story:

After about a year we, Mr. Panda and I, started dating, Mr. Panda, his parents and I got together for a nice family dinner. We all were in a good mood, finished dinner quietly with no special incidents. The guys, of course, had a good skive as always, and so Chinese mom and I cleaned the table alone. Suddenly, she stopped washing the dishes and smiled at me, as she began to tell me about the phone call she had with her mother back in Hong Kong on the very same day:

“Today, I talked to my mom about you. We really wanted a Chinese girlfriend, but…

Maybe ‘Mr. Panda’ will still get a Chinese girlfriend!”

Well, thank you! That would require for him to break up with me first! I was so puzzled about what she probably said without thinking, that I did not know what to answer at first. His mom and I already had a very good relationship at the moment, so I assume she did not really think much about what she said to me. I suppose she did not want to hurt me, but she still did. Rather, I became really angry at her and told her that he is off far better with me anyway, which she just declined with a smile. Afterwards I did not speak for her for two weeks. Although what she said is still bothering me until today, she probably already forgot what she said so long ago.

Batman the cat
Random photo: Batman, the stranger cat which visits my parents recently and actually likes Mr. Panda

Has your mom-in-law also s aid something to you that really offended you? Did she even try to get rid of you?


Guide for Mom-in-laws: How to get rid of your non-Chinese daughter-in-law
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8 thoughts on “Guide for Mom-in-laws: How to get rid of your non-Chinese daughter-in-law

  • August 8, 2015 at 15:59

    Some older generation Chinese can be very insensitive and blunt. Well, I too find the words from the older generation a little hard to bear even I am an ethnic Chinese, let alone a white girl. Just forgive her 🙂

    • August 8, 2015 at 20:50

      Of course I do 🙂 We started to get along really well over the years and are good friends now.
      I assume she did not think about when she told me. Although I can’t speak Cantonese, I can cook well, respect all their traditions and look after her son really well. And in the end that is everything that counts I think.

  • August 8, 2015 at 23:55

    Before my Chinese husband met me, his mom tried to fix him up with many rich Chinese girls, so I assume she wasn’t happy about me. They lived too far away for me to hear her comments. Hearing something out loud makes it harder to forget. It’s nice to know, though, that after knowing you better, all the Chinese relatives may have changed their mind.

    • August 9, 2015 at 0:21

      We both fought hard against all prejudices because we really wanted to stay together: mission accomplished!
      As consolation I’ll make sure our future children speak Cantonese as well, cause big brother neglected that. The kids can’t even talk with their grandfather and relatives in HK :/

  • August 13, 2015 at 7:42

    I have been lucky in some ways. My m-i-l was very accepting of me from the beginning. I suppose this is in part because she is pretty open-minded and also due to the fact that her son was divorced (and therefore “damaged goods”). I can understand why it might be hard for some parents to face the fact that their child fell in love with someone from another country. I know my parents were a little upset. But I think it’s most important that people find a partner they love and are happy with, regardless of race or geography. 🙂

    • August 13, 2015 at 10:51

      We like each other a lot, but when her first son married a non-Chinese, she got all her hopes up for her second son. And I was just the one who smashed them. 🙁
      But I think I made up for it plenty 😛

      And your hubby is not ‘damaged’, but ‘vintage’. It’s like you wrote in your new blog post: Some things get just better when they become ‘older’. 😀

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